I'm pretty bad about keeping up with this blog because, in all honesty, I don't really think my daily life is all that amusing or entertaining. I've been pretty tied up with work and what not, and never really had the energy to document my life. I mean.... I just work, ya know? Nothing too glamorous going on here.
I've been planning to do this for a very long time. I'm completely and totally obsessed with my family genealogy. It's the only thing I really want to get into more. But, it's overwhelming. So I created another blog dedicated solely to my genealogy research - and basically starting from scratch. Well, not totally from scratch, but basically making sure I am doing it right. I'm learning all over again. It's been something I've wanted to do for years. Since I have some free time now, I'm cleaning up and reorganizing. I just wanted to share it: The Chronicles of Cheri
Feel free to follow my journey to discovering the past! :)
Showing posts with label inspiration and motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration and motivation. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
Nothing Left to Lose
This is going to be a positive post! Depending on whether or not an opportunity arises, I am planning on going back to school for a career change. It is scary, but I'm very excited about the journey. I know it will not be easy, but I think it will do me well to pursue it. It is set for me to go to pre-nursing in January 2015. Until then, I am going to continue on my search and see what happens.
Also, I won a $100 gift certificate for a tattoo at a local studio. This is the first time I have ever won anything. So on Saturday, this girl will have a new tattoo. The tattoo has a lot of symbolic meaning behind it, so I will be giving it its own post this weekend.
I also went to the grocery store and won a 3 year supply of cleaning product and a new mop. Might not sound like a fun prize to win, but that's free stuff!! I'm a sucker for freebies. Plus, this cleaning product has actually proven to work! We've been using it quite a bit. That's money saved in cleaning supplies, like toilet cleaner, window cleaner, stain removers, carpet cleaners, and tile cleaners.
Travis and I have also decided to give ourselves a honeymoon/babymoon. We are going to Disney on September 22nd. Currently, the only thing we need now are plane tickets. Everything else has been set and is ready to go!
This year may have started out difficult. It started out like a nightmare. But I have faith. I have found a church that I feel is a good fit for me, and I think that has played a lot into my new view of life. It's amazing, but I feel that God is changing me. He is doing work through me to help me become the person I am supposed to be. It's a confusing and daunting journey to embark on, but I think it's worth it. After all, I don't think I have much else to lose at this point. Travis and I have been through a lot together. We've proven that we can survive. It's now time to start listening to God and letting Him into my life again. Only then, do I believe, that things will change for the better.
Also, I won a $100 gift certificate for a tattoo at a local studio. This is the first time I have ever won anything. So on Saturday, this girl will have a new tattoo. The tattoo has a lot of symbolic meaning behind it, so I will be giving it its own post this weekend.
I also went to the grocery store and won a 3 year supply of cleaning product and a new mop. Might not sound like a fun prize to win, but that's free stuff!! I'm a sucker for freebies. Plus, this cleaning product has actually proven to work! We've been using it quite a bit. That's money saved in cleaning supplies, like toilet cleaner, window cleaner, stain removers, carpet cleaners, and tile cleaners.
Travis and I have also decided to give ourselves a honeymoon/babymoon. We are going to Disney on September 22nd. Currently, the only thing we need now are plane tickets. Everything else has been set and is ready to go!
This year may have started out difficult. It started out like a nightmare. But I have faith. I have found a church that I feel is a good fit for me, and I think that has played a lot into my new view of life. It's amazing, but I feel that God is changing me. He is doing work through me to help me become the person I am supposed to be. It's a confusing and daunting journey to embark on, but I think it's worth it. After all, I don't think I have much else to lose at this point. Travis and I have been through a lot together. We've proven that we can survive. It's now time to start listening to God and letting Him into my life again. Only then, do I believe, that things will change for the better.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Be More Like My 6 Year Old Self
Please forgive me as I bounce through all these crazy thoughts in my head and hormones. I'm slowly getting back to normal, and I've just spent the past week reevaluating my entire life. Mid-Life Crisis came early? Possibly....
I have been having many conversations with my mother. Surprisingly, she's really opened up a lot to me - more than she has before. And I have to thank texting for that. She's texting all. the. time! She loves texting. And with texting both of her daughters that live far away, she's opened up a lot. She's a writer. She never knew it. She does a much better job of communicating her feelings and her thoughts through writing. I don't think my mother has ever really had that avenue to use before. Now that she's discovered texting - so many things make sense.
My mom is lonely. Just like me. Which is ridiculous because we live an hour and 45 minutes away from each other. We really could see each other whenever we wanted. But an hour and 45 minutes away is still long enough to consider a "trip". There's planning and working around schedules and all that hoop-la. However, it makes a lot of sense that we're both lonely. We always had our families. My mom was home the most - and whether or not we got along and had that perfect mother/daughter relationship, we relied on each other's presence. Now that my sister is like... forever far away (ok ok, maybe 7-8 hours), and I'm on my own doing my own thing... and my mother made a daring career choice and quit her job. She's bored, and she's lonely. And the two topics we can bond on now are loneliness and finding a job/career.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. My coworkers are the best. My boss is very forgiving and understanding. And the hours are flexible. I can work from home if I need to, which is cool (and probably something I should be doing right now instead of playing Candy Crush, texting, and writing this blog...). But... I don't think it's "me." It's just not my gig, ya know? Something is just missing, and I can't put my finger on it. I am very blessed to have a job at all.
In my conversations with my mother and with my husband, I've realized I'm doing everything all wrong in life. I get online and I compare my life with so many other people. I degrade myself. I make myself miserable - and in turn make others around me miserable. I'm just tearing myself down. I'm being fake.
I've realized that I need to make a few adjustments to my life. I have this Pinterest board called Secrets to Happiness and I've realized, I'm making everything too complicated and stressful. This is why I get stuck at home, why I'm tired all the time, and why I feel so "unhappy." I made a Pinterest board about Happiness because I'm searching for happiness - like there's some miracle cure, some piece of the pie that I can grab, and boom - I'm the most chipper mother fucker you'll ever meet. But let's be honest now.... happiness isn't a tangible thing. You can't just grab it. You can't find it. No one and nothing can give it to you. Happiness is a state of being. And without that state of being and mindset, I'm going to be lonely. I'm going to sell myself short. I'm not going to get the next job. I'm going to be stuck right here in my little pity party... alone.
So I say fuck it. 2014 is a new beginning. I started putting up cheesy quotes on index cards and taped them to the bathroom mirror. I've put some on our "Bill Board" where all of our bills go. Here it is. Time to stop being fake. Let's be real. Because this... this girl from 2010... 2012... and especially the one from yesterday.... she's not me. I've lost myself in all my struggles. I thought I was growing stronger, but instead, I became a stranger. No wonder why nothing makes sense in my life.
I've thought about this today. Now that I've recognized this... how do I fix it? What did I do when I was the happiest? Well... I was probably like, 5 or 6. I was the most happiest kid around. I made friends at the doctor's office while waiting for my shots. I made a new best friend with a little girl in the booth beside us when the family went to dinner. I ran. I played. I had an imagination. And most importantly, I never thought I had anything to worry about. This was it, take it or leave it and have fun. That was my gig.
I've proposed a little list for myself for how to repair the broken Liz. What would 6 year old Elizabeth say to 27 year old Elizabeth?
Didn't get that project done? Who cares?
Didn't get to the dishes? Who cares?
Put a run in your hose? Who cares?
Dropped the dirty kitty litter on the carpet when cleaning it? So what?
Missed an appointment? Who cares?
Seriously, though. Who cares? Shit happens. Move on. Clean it up. Reschedule. Take the hose off. Do it tomorrow. Who really cares? When the day is done, you'd done what you can. So what if you didn't do it all. You're human. Life happens. Don't turn an ant hill into a mountain. It doesn't really matter.
Yep. Mom and dad were always right. Sure they didn't have all the answers. But running off to college without a clue, disregarding what your dad said about starting off at a community college, picking a legit skill or trade that will be lucrative, follow where the stability is.... yeah, he knew what he was talking about.
Instead, you didn't take his advice, yelled at him for not believing in you (when he saw what you were capable of was trying to GUIDE you to a better path), messed up, didn't ask for help, and thought you could do it all on your own without him. You basically just took his sincere advice and threw it in dog crap, stomped on it, and said, "this is what I think of your opinion." Forget that he, you know, did just about everything to make sure you were taken care of and fought for you your whole entire life and looked out for your best interest....
Don't do it again. You parents are always there for you through thick and thin. They have the BEST advice. Listen to it, even if you don't think they are right. Just do it anyway. Who knows what doors that will open up for you. It couldn't be worse than what you're feeling when you do it alone.
Just do something. Very simple. Whether it's writing a blog, cleaning the house, go on a walk, read a book, play with the cats, call your parents... whatever it is: do something. Sitting around all day is BORING. Get off of Facebook. Get off of the games. Do something. You have plenty of time to do absolutely nothing when you sleep, when you're sick, and when you're dead.
Very similar to #3 - but play. Give yourself a recess every day. Had a long day at work? Go do something fun. Play in the snow for once. Play tag with your husband. Go visit your nephew and play with his cars. Live a little. Nothing here mentioned costs a dime - it's great exercise, and you'll feel like a kid again. Stay young for as long as you can! Go play!
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right -- for you'll be criticized anyway." Eleanor Roosevelt.
People are going to talk about you. People are going to hate you. People are going to think you aren't good enough. Forget them!
Really, no one cares about their opinion of you. So stop worrying about it. Forget them! Overhear someone saying something bad about you? Fuck 'em. They aren't a priority in your life.
Applying for job? Don't stress it. Show what you've got and who you are - and if they don't think you're good enough - forget them! Don't let it eat up your self esteem and self worth.
Travis thinks you are valuable. Your parents think you are valuable. Your sister thinks you are valuable. Forget the rest of them. I'm pretty sure when you stop caring what everyone else thinks, you'll find peace with yourself and those around you.
Stop talking badly about yourself.
Stop talking badly about other people.
What you reap is what you sow, and no one trusts a gossiper.
Find a lot of backstabbers in your life? Because you put them there.
Stop it. You let them and their negativity have power over you. Just be happy. It isn't that hard. Be positive. Be optimistic. Never say another negative thing or engage is stupid gossip. This includes talking to yourself in the mirror!!!
"I'm ok." That's all you need to verify.
"She's ok." That's all you need to care about.
"He's ok." That's it - no more thinking into it.
Ok is better than negativity.
You ARE shy. That's totally ok. But you're an extrovert too. So don't clam up. Make a friend. Engage in conversations with strangers. Be nice just because you can be. No one gives a shit what you're talking about - just that you are acknowledging their presence. That says a lot. Find a friend everywhere you go. Smile. If you have to force it, think of something funny. Be open. You don't have to talk the whole time. Just simple gesture is how it begins. Just a smile. Just a happy "good morning".
Some random person wants to make a joke - accept it! Laugh heartedly. Don't automatically assume they are a freak. They are offering you kindness and a smile to your day. You don't have to strike up a long in depth conversation. Just find a friend and be light hearted.
No one is asking for your direct attention. No one is asking for a thesis about world peace. Don't take it so hard. Just be shy and be sweet. Find a friend everywhere you go - including the gas station, grocery store, a random trip to the restroom. It doesn't have to be in depth - just kind. Don't avoid people - or they'll avoid you too.
What the fuck do you want? Remember when you were little? "Mom, can I have a popsicle?" "Dad, can I have a hug?" Freaking ask!! Don't think everyone has ESP! Speak up. Someone made you mad? "That made me upset."
Someone said something rude? "That wasn't very nice." Put it out there!
Say something! Are you overworked? "Can you help me?" OMG, it really isn't that hard - and people will be very appreciative that you even had the balls to just flat out say it.
One of the most impressive things that happened this week was blatantly saying, "I don't think how you treated him was fair given the circumstances he is under." SPEECHLESS. It really hit them deep and you could see it! Just SAY IT OUT LOUD. Don't assume that people are going to figure out how you are feeling or are supposed to know your emotions are wacked out! People don't know! They have their world that they know. You don't know what is going on in their mind or their life.
It's a heavy burden to carry... Resentment. Regret. Guilt. Hurt. Anger. Don't try to carry it. Say sorry when you know you should. Forgive, even when you don't think they deserve it. Do it for your sanity and your peace. Remember being 6? When someone said sorry, how did you respond? "It's ok."
That's right! It's ok. Move on. Then after they said sorry and you said it was ok, what did you do? Continued doing whatever you were already doing! If you were playing, you moved on and kept playing. Let it go!
You'll never have enough. So stop freaking out about it.
The bills will get paid. You and Travis have a way of making everything work. So stop trying so hard to keep tabs on every single cent. You live once. Life happens. It's been proven time and time again that it always works out. So stop fretting about the dollar signs.
It's ok to budget. It's ok to keep an eye out and just verify the bank account is ok. Just don't let it consume you. Money IS NOT everything. Sure, it'd be nice to have the finer things, but honestly, you were happy with a stick when you were 6. You had an old tire tied to a tree that kept you entertained for hours.
And when you are really in a pickle, you've proven that you can do without the extra fluff to get by. You can make it. Don't let money own you. It doesn't control you - you control it.
If you are tired, rest.
If you feel a surge of energy, get up and run.
Listen to what your body is saying. It knows what it needs better than you do.
Discipline yourself and be proud that you CAN brush your teeth and comb your hair.
Wash your face every night, because it makes you feel better.
Eat right, because you feel better.
Drink water, because you feel better.
Exercise because it makes you feel good.
Sleep at night, because you feel better.
Pray every day, because it makes your feel better.
Seriously, do things that make you feel better! By not taking care of yourself, you're telling everyone else not to take care of you. You are telling the world you don't need to be taken care of - and you do. You are inviting the world to make you exhausted, to make you sad, to make you feel gross, to make you feel less than yourself. Don't. Taking care of yourself isn't a chore. It's a recreation. It makes you feel good - so why not do it?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It may seem a little juvenile, but that's the point. I get so caught up in being an adult and carrying so much weight (worry, stress, heartache, guilt, pity, etc). It gets exhausting. When I was little, the weight I carried was so light, I had energy! I had life. That is what I need to go back to.
That is what I need most: to be a little bit more like my 6 year old self....
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| Divi: Life Purpose & Passionate Living |
I have been having many conversations with my mother. Surprisingly, she's really opened up a lot to me - more than she has before. And I have to thank texting for that. She's texting all. the. time! She loves texting. And with texting both of her daughters that live far away, she's opened up a lot. She's a writer. She never knew it. She does a much better job of communicating her feelings and her thoughts through writing. I don't think my mother has ever really had that avenue to use before. Now that she's discovered texting - so many things make sense.
My mom is lonely. Just like me. Which is ridiculous because we live an hour and 45 minutes away from each other. We really could see each other whenever we wanted. But an hour and 45 minutes away is still long enough to consider a "trip". There's planning and working around schedules and all that hoop-la. However, it makes a lot of sense that we're both lonely. We always had our families. My mom was home the most - and whether or not we got along and had that perfect mother/daughter relationship, we relied on each other's presence. Now that my sister is like... forever far away (ok ok, maybe 7-8 hours), and I'm on my own doing my own thing... and my mother made a daring career choice and quit her job. She's bored, and she's lonely. And the two topics we can bond on now are loneliness and finding a job/career.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. My coworkers are the best. My boss is very forgiving and understanding. And the hours are flexible. I can work from home if I need to, which is cool (and probably something I should be doing right now instead of playing Candy Crush, texting, and writing this blog...). But... I don't think it's "me." It's just not my gig, ya know? Something is just missing, and I can't put my finger on it. I am very blessed to have a job at all.
In my conversations with my mother and with my husband, I've realized I'm doing everything all wrong in life. I get online and I compare my life with so many other people. I degrade myself. I make myself miserable - and in turn make others around me miserable. I'm just tearing myself down. I'm being fake.
 |
| Philosoraptor Memes |
I've realized that I need to make a few adjustments to my life. I have this Pinterest board called Secrets to Happiness and I've realized, I'm making everything too complicated and stressful. This is why I get stuck at home, why I'm tired all the time, and why I feel so "unhappy." I made a Pinterest board about Happiness because I'm searching for happiness - like there's some miracle cure, some piece of the pie that I can grab, and boom - I'm the most chipper mother fucker you'll ever meet. But let's be honest now.... happiness isn't a tangible thing. You can't just grab it. You can't find it. No one and nothing can give it to you. Happiness is a state of being. And without that state of being and mindset, I'm going to be lonely. I'm going to sell myself short. I'm not going to get the next job. I'm going to be stuck right here in my little pity party... alone.
So I say fuck it. 2014 is a new beginning. I started putting up cheesy quotes on index cards and taped them to the bathroom mirror. I've put some on our "Bill Board" where all of our bills go. Here it is. Time to stop being fake. Let's be real. Because this... this girl from 2010... 2012... and especially the one from yesterday.... she's not me. I've lost myself in all my struggles. I thought I was growing stronger, but instead, I became a stranger. No wonder why nothing makes sense in my life.
I've thought about this today. Now that I've recognized this... how do I fix it? What did I do when I was the happiest? Well... I was probably like, 5 or 6. I was the most happiest kid around. I made friends at the doctor's office while waiting for my shots. I made a new best friend with a little girl in the booth beside us when the family went to dinner. I ran. I played. I had an imagination. And most importantly, I never thought I had anything to worry about. This was it, take it or leave it and have fun. That was my gig.
I've proposed a little list for myself for how to repair the broken Liz. What would 6 year old Elizabeth say to 27 year old Elizabeth?
1. Who cares?
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| SodaHead.com |
Didn't get that project done? Who cares?
Didn't get to the dishes? Who cares?
Put a run in your hose? Who cares?
Dropped the dirty kitty litter on the carpet when cleaning it? So what?
Missed an appointment? Who cares?
Seriously, though. Who cares? Shit happens. Move on. Clean it up. Reschedule. Take the hose off. Do it tomorrow. Who really cares? When the day is done, you'd done what you can. So what if you didn't do it all. You're human. Life happens. Don't turn an ant hill into a mountain. It doesn't really matter.
2. Listen to your parents.
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| KeepCalmAndPosters.com |
Yep. Mom and dad were always right. Sure they didn't have all the answers. But running off to college without a clue, disregarding what your dad said about starting off at a community college, picking a legit skill or trade that will be lucrative, follow where the stability is.... yeah, he knew what he was talking about.
Instead, you didn't take his advice, yelled at him for not believing in you (when he saw what you were capable of was trying to GUIDE you to a better path), messed up, didn't ask for help, and thought you could do it all on your own without him. You basically just took his sincere advice and threw it in dog crap, stomped on it, and said, "this is what I think of your opinion." Forget that he, you know, did just about everything to make sure you were taken care of and fought for you your whole entire life and looked out for your best interest....
Don't do it again. You parents are always there for you through thick and thin. They have the BEST advice. Listen to it, even if you don't think they are right. Just do it anyway. Who knows what doors that will open up for you. It couldn't be worse than what you're feeling when you do it alone.
3. Do SOMETHING.
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| Anonymous Art of Revolution |
Just do something. Very simple. Whether it's writing a blog, cleaning the house, go on a walk, read a book, play with the cats, call your parents... whatever it is: do something. Sitting around all day is BORING. Get off of Facebook. Get off of the games. Do something. You have plenty of time to do absolutely nothing when you sleep, when you're sick, and when you're dead.
4. PLAY
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| Google Images |
Very similar to #3 - but play. Give yourself a recess every day. Had a long day at work? Go do something fun. Play in the snow for once. Play tag with your husband. Go visit your nephew and play with his cars. Live a little. Nothing here mentioned costs a dime - it's great exercise, and you'll feel like a kid again. Stay young for as long as you can! Go play!
5. Forget the Rest of Them.
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| Google Images |
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right -- for you'll be criticized anyway." Eleanor Roosevelt.
People are going to talk about you. People are going to hate you. People are going to think you aren't good enough. Forget them!
Really, no one cares about their opinion of you. So stop worrying about it. Forget them! Overhear someone saying something bad about you? Fuck 'em. They aren't a priority in your life.
Applying for job? Don't stress it. Show what you've got and who you are - and if they don't think you're good enough - forget them! Don't let it eat up your self esteem and self worth.
Travis thinks you are valuable. Your parents think you are valuable. Your sister thinks you are valuable. Forget the rest of them. I'm pretty sure when you stop caring what everyone else thinks, you'll find peace with yourself and those around you.
6. Stop with the Negative Talk
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| someecards.com |
Stop talking badly about yourself.
Stop talking badly about other people.
What you reap is what you sow, and no one trusts a gossiper.
Find a lot of backstabbers in your life? Because you put them there.
Stop it. You let them and their negativity have power over you. Just be happy. It isn't that hard. Be positive. Be optimistic. Never say another negative thing or engage is stupid gossip. This includes talking to yourself in the mirror!!!
"I'm ok." That's all you need to verify.
"She's ok." That's all you need to care about.
"He's ok." That's it - no more thinking into it.
Ok is better than negativity.
7. Find a Friend Everywhere
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| We Know Memes |
You ARE shy. That's totally ok. But you're an extrovert too. So don't clam up. Make a friend. Engage in conversations with strangers. Be nice just because you can be. No one gives a shit what you're talking about - just that you are acknowledging their presence. That says a lot. Find a friend everywhere you go. Smile. If you have to force it, think of something funny. Be open. You don't have to talk the whole time. Just simple gesture is how it begins. Just a smile. Just a happy "good morning".
Some random person wants to make a joke - accept it! Laugh heartedly. Don't automatically assume they are a freak. They are offering you kindness and a smile to your day. You don't have to strike up a long in depth conversation. Just find a friend and be light hearted.
No one is asking for your direct attention. No one is asking for a thesis about world peace. Don't take it so hard. Just be shy and be sweet. Find a friend everywhere you go - including the gas station, grocery store, a random trip to the restroom. It doesn't have to be in depth - just kind. Don't avoid people - or they'll avoid you too.
8. Don't Beat Around the Bush
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| Google Images |
What the fuck do you want? Remember when you were little? "Mom, can I have a popsicle?" "Dad, can I have a hug?" Freaking ask!! Don't think everyone has ESP! Speak up. Someone made you mad? "That made me upset."
Someone said something rude? "That wasn't very nice." Put it out there!
Say something! Are you overworked? "Can you help me?" OMG, it really isn't that hard - and people will be very appreciative that you even had the balls to just flat out say it.
One of the most impressive things that happened this week was blatantly saying, "I don't think how you treated him was fair given the circumstances he is under." SPEECHLESS. It really hit them deep and you could see it! Just SAY IT OUT LOUD. Don't assume that people are going to figure out how you are feeling or are supposed to know your emotions are wacked out! People don't know! They have their world that they know. You don't know what is going on in their mind or their life.
9. Apologize & Forgive
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| ImgQuotes |
That's right! It's ok. Move on. Then after they said sorry and you said it was ok, what did you do? Continued doing whatever you were already doing! If you were playing, you moved on and kept playing. Let it go!
10. Money Doesn't Control You
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| Meetville |
You'll never have enough. So stop freaking out about it.
The bills will get paid. You and Travis have a way of making everything work. So stop trying so hard to keep tabs on every single cent. You live once. Life happens. It's been proven time and time again that it always works out. So stop fretting about the dollar signs.
It's ok to budget. It's ok to keep an eye out and just verify the bank account is ok. Just don't let it consume you. Money IS NOT everything. Sure, it'd be nice to have the finer things, but honestly, you were happy with a stick when you were 6. You had an old tire tied to a tree that kept you entertained for hours.
And when you are really in a pickle, you've proven that you can do without the extra fluff to get by. You can make it. Don't let money own you. It doesn't control you - you control it.
11. Take Care of Yourself
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| Google Images |
If you are tired, rest.
If you feel a surge of energy, get up and run.
Listen to what your body is saying. It knows what it needs better than you do.
Discipline yourself and be proud that you CAN brush your teeth and comb your hair.
Wash your face every night, because it makes you feel better.
Eat right, because you feel better.
Drink water, because you feel better.
Exercise because it makes you feel good.
Sleep at night, because you feel better.
Pray every day, because it makes your feel better.
Seriously, do things that make you feel better! By not taking care of yourself, you're telling everyone else not to take care of you. You are telling the world you don't need to be taken care of - and you do. You are inviting the world to make you exhausted, to make you sad, to make you feel gross, to make you feel less than yourself. Don't. Taking care of yourself isn't a chore. It's a recreation. It makes you feel good - so why not do it?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It may seem a little juvenile, but that's the point. I get so caught up in being an adult and carrying so much weight (worry, stress, heartache, guilt, pity, etc). It gets exhausting. When I was little, the weight I carried was so light, I had energy! I had life. That is what I need to go back to.
That is what I need most: to be a little bit more like my 6 year old self....
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| 1993 |
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Quitting Again
Today marks the 6th time I have attempted to quit smoking. Yes, some know, I am a frequent smoker. I have no idea what to expect this time around. Will it work? Can I do it? No idea.
I now have an electronic cigarette and Nicorette gum (4 mg). Let's see how this goes.
Today was the first evening I gave it a shot. I chew on a piece of gum that was surprising good! I bought a flavored kind of gum that tastes a lot like Wintergreen gum. It burned a little bit, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I just stopped chewing when it burned.
Travis still smokes. He had a cigarette when I was chewing the gum - and lo and behold, I didn't have a single craving for one. Later in the night, when the gum no longer burned and started to lose flavor, I made a BIG mistake.
I decided what would one cigarette do? It's like winging myself off, right? Over time, I should crave smoking less and less.... I think. I lit up a cigarette and started puffing.
OMG!
Talk about nicotine! I couldn't even smoke the damn thing! I felt so incredibly sick. I tossed out the cigarette and felt like I was going to vomit. Luckily, a friend we were hanging out with tonight rushed and got me a bottled water. I have never enjoyed the taste of water as much as I did tonight.
So I won't be doing that again! I'm thinking this gum is going to work! And in the car, because I have a habit of smoking - I have my e-cig to help. That is... if I'm not chewing the gum! YIKES!
OK, you might be wondering why it has taken me 6 times to quit smoking. I'll gladly give you some back story about smoking. When I was a young adolescent, I thought smoking was cool. My relatives had tobacco farms (and still do), and they sell tobacco to Phillip Morris. I grew up around smokers - even though neither of my parents smoked. My grandfather's ex-wife would buy me a carton when I was 12 years old to sneak back home in my luggage. I thought I was so cool. My sister, friends, and I would sneak away on our country property to "hike" or "ride bikes". If someone's parents weren't home, we were "hanging out" or "studying". My parents were not dumb. They could smell it. They would steal our packs and throw them out. But I could always get more. It became a habit to steal my friend's mother's packs. We would sneak around and steal cigarettes from adults that smoked around us. And I still had my connection to my grandpa's ex-wife that bought me cartons.
We were not smoking every day. It was just something exciting and made us feel like we were grown up. Why we wanted to grow up so fast, I don't know. It didn't become habitual until my friends and I started driving. It was our chance to smoke a cigarette before or after school - and we would hose the interior of the car with perfume or sprays to cover up the smell.
I quit smoking for the first time when I turned 18 - ironically. I just lost interest in it. I also no longer had my free connections and I didn't want to pay for cigarettes. I had quit cold turkey for 3 years.
When I turned 21, I was living with my boyfriend and going to college. I was around smokers all the time. I went out to parties and I did what a lot of dumb college kids do - go to bars. I didn't have a problem not smoking until I realized everyone around me smoked. All of my friends were smoking and my boyfriend was smoking, too. My boyfriend told me it was OK to smoke socially - just as long as it didn't become a habit. All of my friends were saying, "One cigarette won't kill ya." So, I caved to fit in, and I started smoking again.
Quitting #2: I stopped cold turkey after I met my husband. I was pressed for cash, and I didn't feel satisfied with a cigarette anymore. I had no problems - until someone lit up a cigarette and I could smell it. That stage did not last long. I was back to smoking again.
The third time I quit was when I was 24. I found out about my birth defect when I experienced volvulus. I had to have an upper endoscopy done. During my endoscopy, they found tar in my esophagus. They took pictures and showed it to me. After looking at it and seeing that the tar was my own doing - I felt disgusting. I saw the damage I was doing to myself. Not long after that, I found out I was pregnant. I quit cold turkey for the baby. This time, I had strong cravings for a cigarette. It felt like I was going to tackle someone that smelled like cigarette smoke. Whenever I saw a pack of cigarettes, I was so tempted to take one and light up. When I miscarried, I lost all the care in the whole entire world. I didn't care about the tar. I didn't care about cancer. I didn't care about anything. AT. ALL! I began smoking much more heavily than I ever had before. I was up to a pack and a half every day. Let's just say, my finances were terrible. I was going broke to have a cigarette.
I quit for the fourth time when I started pulling myself back together. I was 25 years old. I tried doing the electronic cigarette. I was successful for maybe... a month. The electronic cigarette became my "in-between packs" smoke.
The fifth time was when we moved to Fort Wayne. I was determined to quit. I tried gum. I tried eating more. I tried being active. Nothing could satisfy my craving. Travis tried to quit with me. We relied on the electronic cigarette when we were really having nicotine fits. We were successful for maybe... a few months (3 max). I don't know why or how - but we began smoking again.
So here I am - at my 6th attempt to quit. I don't like the smell. I don't like the cravings. I don't like how it makes your teeth and nails yellow. I don't like my throat hurting. I don't like the taste. I feel guilty every time I smoke. I hate the stale smell in my car. I hate the trash it leaves behind. I hate it. I've lost so many important people in my life due to cancer from smoking. And it breaks my dad's heart to see me smoke. I hate doing that to him. I also hate the fact that I cannot work a full day without having to run outside for a cigarette. Sure, I like the break - but I hate having to sit out by the smelly dumpster just to get my fix. If I want a career, I can't be running outside all the time to take a puff. It makes me look unreliable when I am not readily available to do my job while I am there. Plus, I get cranky all the time without a cigarette. How can something so small have so much power of my character? How can it control so much of my day? And I really hate being told I smell like a cigarette. I hate having headaches when I go too long without nicotine. I hate how expensive it is. All around - I am just tired of it. And if I want to have children some day - smoking is only going to complicate it. I have enough issues with carrying a baby that I don't need to add anything else to it to make it worse. I need to get my health back in control. I need to quit. I want to quit. I'm hoping this works.
I now have an electronic cigarette and Nicorette gum (4 mg). Let's see how this goes.
Today was the first evening I gave it a shot. I chew on a piece of gum that was surprising good! I bought a flavored kind of gum that tastes a lot like Wintergreen gum. It burned a little bit, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I just stopped chewing when it burned.
Travis still smokes. He had a cigarette when I was chewing the gum - and lo and behold, I didn't have a single craving for one. Later in the night, when the gum no longer burned and started to lose flavor, I made a BIG mistake.
I decided what would one cigarette do? It's like winging myself off, right? Over time, I should crave smoking less and less.... I think. I lit up a cigarette and started puffing.
OMG!
Talk about nicotine! I couldn't even smoke the damn thing! I felt so incredibly sick. I tossed out the cigarette and felt like I was going to vomit. Luckily, a friend we were hanging out with tonight rushed and got me a bottled water. I have never enjoyed the taste of water as much as I did tonight.
So I won't be doing that again! I'm thinking this gum is going to work! And in the car, because I have a habit of smoking - I have my e-cig to help. That is... if I'm not chewing the gum! YIKES!
OK, you might be wondering why it has taken me 6 times to quit smoking. I'll gladly give you some back story about smoking. When I was a young adolescent, I thought smoking was cool. My relatives had tobacco farms (and still do), and they sell tobacco to Phillip Morris. I grew up around smokers - even though neither of my parents smoked. My grandfather's ex-wife would buy me a carton when I was 12 years old to sneak back home in my luggage. I thought I was so cool. My sister, friends, and I would sneak away on our country property to "hike" or "ride bikes". If someone's parents weren't home, we were "hanging out" or "studying". My parents were not dumb. They could smell it. They would steal our packs and throw them out. But I could always get more. It became a habit to steal my friend's mother's packs. We would sneak around and steal cigarettes from adults that smoked around us. And I still had my connection to my grandpa's ex-wife that bought me cartons.
We were not smoking every day. It was just something exciting and made us feel like we were grown up. Why we wanted to grow up so fast, I don't know. It didn't become habitual until my friends and I started driving. It was our chance to smoke a cigarette before or after school - and we would hose the interior of the car with perfume or sprays to cover up the smell.
I quit smoking for the first time when I turned 18 - ironically. I just lost interest in it. I also no longer had my free connections and I didn't want to pay for cigarettes. I had quit cold turkey for 3 years.
When I turned 21, I was living with my boyfriend and going to college. I was around smokers all the time. I went out to parties and I did what a lot of dumb college kids do - go to bars. I didn't have a problem not smoking until I realized everyone around me smoked. All of my friends were smoking and my boyfriend was smoking, too. My boyfriend told me it was OK to smoke socially - just as long as it didn't become a habit. All of my friends were saying, "One cigarette won't kill ya." So, I caved to fit in, and I started smoking again.
Quitting #2: I stopped cold turkey after I met my husband. I was pressed for cash, and I didn't feel satisfied with a cigarette anymore. I had no problems - until someone lit up a cigarette and I could smell it. That stage did not last long. I was back to smoking again.
The third time I quit was when I was 24. I found out about my birth defect when I experienced volvulus. I had to have an upper endoscopy done. During my endoscopy, they found tar in my esophagus. They took pictures and showed it to me. After looking at it and seeing that the tar was my own doing - I felt disgusting. I saw the damage I was doing to myself. Not long after that, I found out I was pregnant. I quit cold turkey for the baby. This time, I had strong cravings for a cigarette. It felt like I was going to tackle someone that smelled like cigarette smoke. Whenever I saw a pack of cigarettes, I was so tempted to take one and light up. When I miscarried, I lost all the care in the whole entire world. I didn't care about the tar. I didn't care about cancer. I didn't care about anything. AT. ALL! I began smoking much more heavily than I ever had before. I was up to a pack and a half every day. Let's just say, my finances were terrible. I was going broke to have a cigarette.
I quit for the fourth time when I started pulling myself back together. I was 25 years old. I tried doing the electronic cigarette. I was successful for maybe... a month. The electronic cigarette became my "in-between packs" smoke.
The fifth time was when we moved to Fort Wayne. I was determined to quit. I tried gum. I tried eating more. I tried being active. Nothing could satisfy my craving. Travis tried to quit with me. We relied on the electronic cigarette when we were really having nicotine fits. We were successful for maybe... a few months (3 max). I don't know why or how - but we began smoking again.
So here I am - at my 6th attempt to quit. I don't like the smell. I don't like the cravings. I don't like how it makes your teeth and nails yellow. I don't like my throat hurting. I don't like the taste. I feel guilty every time I smoke. I hate the stale smell in my car. I hate the trash it leaves behind. I hate it. I've lost so many important people in my life due to cancer from smoking. And it breaks my dad's heart to see me smoke. I hate doing that to him. I also hate the fact that I cannot work a full day without having to run outside for a cigarette. Sure, I like the break - but I hate having to sit out by the smelly dumpster just to get my fix. If I want a career, I can't be running outside all the time to take a puff. It makes me look unreliable when I am not readily available to do my job while I am there. Plus, I get cranky all the time without a cigarette. How can something so small have so much power of my character? How can it control so much of my day? And I really hate being told I smell like a cigarette. I hate having headaches when I go too long without nicotine. I hate how expensive it is. All around - I am just tired of it. And if I want to have children some day - smoking is only going to complicate it. I have enough issues with carrying a baby that I don't need to add anything else to it to make it worse. I need to get my health back in control. I need to quit. I want to quit. I'm hoping this works.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Sick Day
I have been super busy lately. Sure enough, I got sick. I have been running non-stop, and I haven't been taking very good care of myself. So, I'm in bed, with the sniffles, ear aches, sore throat, cough, slight fever, and really stiff, sore muscles instead of being at work. Even though work has called me non-stop all day, and I have to do a few things on my sick day, I also decided since I'm laying around bored, I should blog!
I'm updating my 365 Day Picture Challenge about once a week. I try to get the week done on Saturday or Sunday. Sometimes, I'm off a little bit. I'm really glad that I've stuck to this project. Then again, we are still early on the 365 Day challenge. Hopefully, I can keep it up diligently.
I really want to be more disciplined in my posts. You might have noticed a handy little button on the right side of the blog that says "31 Days to a Better Budget." I keep messing up my budget. Not going to lie, I don't think I have a clue to what I'm doing. But I found this amazing blog - which put creating a budget in realistic terms. One small task each day and at the end of the month, you've created your own personalize budget. The best part is that it is doable. For my next big project, I will master our budget. Starting on March 1st, I will be doing the "31 Days to a Better Budget." Please feel free to join me!
In the meantime, I have accomplished a few SIMPLE Pinterest finds. I will be posting those later today! I also fixed up our Home Management Binder (which will be posted today too!!).
I hate being sick and not at work - but at least I can occupy my time laying in bed with this blog!! :)
I'm updating my 365 Day Picture Challenge about once a week. I try to get the week done on Saturday or Sunday. Sometimes, I'm off a little bit. I'm really glad that I've stuck to this project. Then again, we are still early on the 365 Day challenge. Hopefully, I can keep it up diligently.
I really want to be more disciplined in my posts. You might have noticed a handy little button on the right side of the blog that says "31 Days to a Better Budget." I keep messing up my budget. Not going to lie, I don't think I have a clue to what I'm doing. But I found this amazing blog - which put creating a budget in realistic terms. One small task each day and at the end of the month, you've created your own personalize budget. The best part is that it is doable. For my next big project, I will master our budget. Starting on March 1st, I will be doing the "31 Days to a Better Budget." Please feel free to join me!
In the meantime, I have accomplished a few SIMPLE Pinterest finds. I will be posting those later today! I also fixed up our Home Management Binder (which will be posted today too!!).
I hate being sick and not at work - but at least I can occupy my time laying in bed with this blog!! :)
Thursday, January 24, 2013
The Liebster Award!
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::sniff sniff:: It's so beautiful!
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I'm super excited to announce that I've received my first blog award! YAY! Special thanks to Ryanne for the nomination! Definitely check out her blog at A Method in the Madness. Hop on over to her blog and say hi!
ETA: A big shout out also goes to Jamey over at A Fraction of the Whole for nominating me as well. Her blog is super cute - so check it out, too! And show Amanda some love over at A Whole Lotta Somethin'! Her blog is pure delciousness!!
ETA: A big shout out also goes to Jamey over at A Fraction of the Whole for nominating me as well. Her blog is super cute - so check it out, too! And show Amanda some love over at A Whole Lotta Somethin'! Her blog is pure delciousness!!
So what is the Liebster Award?
The Liebster Award nomination goes to those bloggers who have a following of less than 200 to promote other bloggers to comment and share - even get to know each other! I think this is great, because it gives you the potential to gather a larger following! If you get nominated, you cannot nominate the person who nominated you (No tagbacks!).
The point of the Liebster Award is to answer questions, tell 11 secrets about yourself, and nominate 11 other bloggers who fit the criteria. Here it goes!
11 Things About Me
- I absolutely hate spaghetti. I have no idea why.
- I own land by my great-grandparents old homestead in Kentucky. It sits high up on a mountain. Unfortunately, the land isn't really anything I could build a house on or do anything with. My uncle rents it for his horse pasture.
- My favorite color is orange, second favorite is teal. Travis's favorite color is Teal, and his second favorite is orange.
- I am a Scorpio to a T. My zodiac sign fits me perfectly.
- I am so sorry to say this, but I don't like musicals. ::runs and hides::
- I always had this dream to write a book - a fiction fairytale-like book. But, let's be honest, I'm way to lazy to attempt it.
- I can't stand the sound of my voice. It's too girly and makes me sound naive. I wish I had an "adult voice."
- I am most self conscious about my big ears. I'm like Dumbo. These suckers can make me fly.
- I play Devil's Advocate in most political debates. 1.) I find it funny that some people get way too bent out of shape about it. 2.) It's no one's business who I actually vote for. 3.) It really helps strengthen my points of view and my morals on certain issues from trying to think about it from a completely different perspective.
- I was a ballroom dance teacher. I quickly learned that dancing is better as my hobby than a career.
- I absolutely, 100% hate winter/snow with a fiery, burning passion. I cannot stand to be THAT cold. And I hate having to drive and walk in it, especially when I have to clear off my car of all the snow and ice.
11 Questions
1. Why did you decide to start a blog?
A: This blog is dedicated to the journey Travis and I embark as a couple. We're building our careers from the start. We lost so much. We've endured enough as is. After losing so much from medical debt, we've persevered. We're rebuilding our lives together. That's the point of this blog - to document the journey. It gives us hope that things will work out.
2. How did you know that your spouse was THE ONE?
A: Travis and I just clicked. It was the way he laughed. It was the jokes he made. He had an unbelievably open heart. It was the way he smiled and looked at me. It was the way I felt in his arms. He was the only one that actually got me. He understood me. He is such a loving person, inside and out. He shines and lights up a room. I don't think I ever had someone that meshed with me so well. I love him. He's my rock when I need it. He's amazing. I love him with all I have.
3. Name the 3 most important people in your life and why they are so important.
A: I'm having a hard time selecting 3 - so I'm going to choose 4. Number 1 is Travis. Travis and I have walked together, side-by-side, through the good times and the bad. We work as a team. It took us a while to get to that point - and it was pure dedication on both parts. Travis has saved my life and I have saved his. We've never left each others' side. Number 2 is my mother. My mother has always provided me with the best advice in so many different ways. She's put me in my place when I need it most, and she's given me utmost love and affection when I needed it most. She always raised me with the concept of "I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear. I'm here to tell you what you need to hear because I love you and I care." I don't know where I would be without her guidance and humor. Number 3 is my father. He has always made time in his life for me. He always dove head first into all of my silly hobbies and activities that I pursued throughout my life. He has always been proud of me - and he tells me regularly. My dad will put his life aside for me. He would give his life for me. I know this, and I feel truly blessed to have such a strong willed, big hearted, hard working man take such pride in me. I don't know what I would do without my daddy. Number 4 is my sister Stephanie. She has always been my best friend. We would hang out together on a regular basis. We stayed up late - just like it was a slumber party with your BFF. We told stories, we told secrets - and today, we share that same bond. Whenever I need to talk or escape from daily life, my sister is always there. I couldn't walk this life without my big sister being around. When we are old and grey, we'll be sitting on the front porch, watching the kids and grandkids play - as our husbands do what old guys do - and we'll laugh, yell at the kids, and enjoy the sunshine with our Pepsi cold in a glass. We'll live our lives together - and the husbands are totally fine with that.
4. How do your personal beliefs (social/religious/philosophical) differ from your upbringing now that you are an adult? How have they stayed the same?
A: I won't lie and say I've always been the same. I've grown. I've matured. When I was younger, I thought life was much simpler. Even in college, I was very naive. But I have noticed that life isn't supposed to be taken seriously. While it is more complicated as an adult - there are questions I still cannot find answers to - it isn't worth the stress. Life is meant to be lived without a chip on the shoulder. Don't carry the baggage. People come and people go - and that's ok. Life goes on, and new memories are made - new people are met. But most importantly, I've developed a strong belief that even when I am alone - I'm not actually alone in this world. I have God and my Guardian Angels always watching out for me. I'm not as fearful as I once was. My personal beliefs that have stayed the same - it's best to keep life a mystery and not have all the answers.
5. If you had a million dollars, how would you spend it?
A: I'd buy a house. I'd pay off my student loan debt. I'd buy Travis and myself a new car - since our cars are wearing down. I'd pay off my sister's debt. I'd pay off my parents' debt. I'd give my parents back the money they spent on me. I'd have babies and start college funds. Whatever is left will go to the American Cancer Society in memory of all my loved ones that have been lost due to cancer.
6. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
A: Owning a home, having children, still married to Travis, and working a stable job that provides a decent living. And having really really old kitty cats named Coheed & Smokey.
7. What is one way you are seeking to improve yourself in one year?
A: Building my career. It's my main focus.
8. What is the best book you have ever read?
A: UGH - making me choose only one?!?! The first one to pop into my head was "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. I cried like a baby for hours when I finished it. I couldn't put the book down. Ask Travis. I was obsessed - and when the book was done - he left me alone to grieve. lol
9. What song describes your mood today?
A: Even though it was a Thursday... "Manic Monday" seems to be the best fit. It was stressful.
10. Do you have any pets?
A: TWO adorably handsome kitty cats named Coheed & Smokey. :D
11. Do you have a Bucket List?
A: Only on Pinterest. I don't think I really have a real bucket list.
11 Questions for You
- What is your favorite color and why?
- So, you have a blog. Why?
- What is your goal for this year?
- What is the best song to describe your mood today?
- Who are the 3 most important people in your life and why?
- How did you meet your significant other? (if single, what do you look for in a significant other?)
- If there was a $100 bill laying on the ground, would you take it? If so, what would you buy with it? If not, why?
- Compare yourself to your 15 year old self. What would you tell him/her?
- What is your worst vice?
- Take your age and double it. Where do you see yourself at that age?
- What is the best life advice you can give your followers?
And the nomination goes to:
The top 11 blogs I have chosen are as follows (in no specific order):
- FrozenOJs Concentrated Life
- ♥ N and J
- Trying to Conceive: Swimming Against the Tide
- In-Patiently Waiting: Keep on Dreaming, Even If It Breaks Your Heart
- Life Lessons of a New Mommy
- Rough Around the Edges
- You Make Me Feel Like Dancing
- Healing Through Tears
- Crafty Hearts, Warm Home, and Little Toes
- Schonsheck Shenanigans
- Laughing in a Beautiful World
Sunday, January 20, 2013
365 Day Photo/Video Challenge 2013
I've always wanted to do this - but never stuck to it. So, here it is - for 2013 - Travis and I will be sharing a picture or video a day every day for the next year, just for fun. Click on the tab above and it will take you to our 365 Day Photo/Video Challenge blog. I am still editing it and formatting the blog, so please be patient with me while it is under construction.
Here is my first post on it:
Feel free to follow us!
Here is my first post on it:
I know the 365 Day Picture Challenge is supposed to be where the author takes a picture every day from something that day for a year. It is supposed to be for those who want to work on photography skills or who want to be more disciplined in documenting their life. Honestly, I'm just doing this for my own personal entertainment.
I will be documenting something from each day as a photo journal simply just for fun. Why did I not start on January 1st? Because I didn't think about it.
I started taking at least one picture a day on Instagram. Sometimes, I'll record a video and save it on my computer. They don't really get stored anywhere. Often times, they aren't used for anything else. Why not share my pictures and videos on our blog? Our blog is about our life together, right? What the heck, let's see what happens!
I've actually had quite a few friends tell Travis and I that we need to start documenting our lives. Some people said we should have a YouTube account to share our daily life. Let me tell you this... I think I can be pretty boring. But life with our family and friends is anything but boring!
Who knows, maybe you will find my life is just the average Joe's boring typical life. Maybe you will find the events that happen to us funny! Maybe you will get some entertainment out of it, or maybe it will help pass the time. Which ever is the case, thanks for stopping by!
Feel free to follow us!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
He Got a Promotion!
Travis has been working so hard at his job. He pulls long hours, and he's been working his way up through the ranks in a short amount of time. Travis works at a local discount factory warehouse - and he started as a temp working in the back putting furniture together. They hired him full time because he was a hard worker. After his bosses got to know him, they decided he'd be a better fit on the sales floor during their auctions. Travis nailed it. Not only was Travis making great commissions, he still would help out in the back with inventory and set up. Because of Travis's pure dedication and determination, he has been promoted to Manager in Training!
I'm so proud of him!
I'm so proud of him!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Better Than I Thought!
So, all of our hard work and efforts paid off! Our credit jumped up. Our debt to income ratio is right where I wanted it at the time being. AND, we can qualify for more than we originally thought we would.
A dear cousin, Kari, has been giving Travis and I advice about building our credit and paying off our debts so that we can own a home. The woman is a genius. I am so totally clueless about this homebuying stuff. However, Travis and Kari were on the same page the whole time, and they explained things to me in more simpler terms so that I could understand. There were so many things I learned, I was amazed!
Kari pulled our credit reports and gave us an updated, accurate credit score for each of us. She sat down with both of us and went through every page on our credit report, telling us what lenders look for. She pointed out areas that we could fix, and she pointed out areas where we should leave things alone! I was surprised that there was one thing on our credit report that she told us NOT to touch until after we buy a home. If we messed with it, it could potentially hurt us because of when it will be reported - and she explained why it would negatively impact us. This one thing was a collections account. This debt was actually paid through the hospital between 2008 and 2011. However, it was not updated on our credit report. Even though that debt technically does not exist, the agency did not report it to the credit bureaus. It is not hitting our credit negatively to leave it alone the way it is. At first, I thought "OMG, that needs to be taken off!" But Kari explained to me the moment that there is any activity on the account, it will come across as a negative impact on our credit and bring our credit scores down. She told us to wait until after we buy a home to update it.
Kari also told us where we can dispute things on our credit report. She told us the best places to talk to in order to handle credit disputes. There was ONE medical bill that we paid off that had not been reported to the credit bureau. Unfortunately, because we paid it, it's possible it will bring down our credit score. But oh well, live and learn. It'll be ok. When Kari looked at our previous debts and saw that everything had been paid off completely, she told us we did everything right. That was a relief to hear! I was worried that I was messing up. Kari reassured me that we are not in a terrible position, and because we have a good record of debts being paid in full - even though our credit scores weren't as high as I had wanted them to be - that will look more favorable because it shows we pay off our debts.
She ran our numbers through a program to see how interest rates would fluctuate between FHA and Conventional loans. She showed us every possible outcome. She told us the pros and cons for each type, and how they would affect us. Ironically, where we are, monthly payments won't be much different for either type of loan. When going through the possible outcomes and different costs of a home and calculating a different percentage for a down payment, we were looking at possibly a $7 - $30 monthly difference between the two.
She asked us if we had been searching for a home at all lately. I told her one house in the neighborhood we live in that I have had my eye on. She ran the numbers for both types of loans with the amount the house was selling for and she took taxes into consideration. This is where I was super surprised. A Conventional loan was $7/month more than an FHA, but it was also more than likely a better option for us. Then, we took another home into consideration. An FHA was a better option for us on that one! I was really surprised how minor adjustments made a HUGE difference!
After going through adjustments and comparisons, Kari told us that we were "finance-able" where we currently are. She told us that we could qualify for much more than we originally thought. Granted, we told her that we were looking for a lower cost home and wouldn't mind doing repairs. This one really surprised me: she told us that with where we stand, we should NOT get a house less than $50,000 because insurance and interest would not work in our favor. The lowest we can look for a house is currently $54,000 without getting hit with huge insurance costs and higher interest rates. I never thought there would be a minimum amount for getting a better deal. If you go too low compared to what you qualify for, the bank won't see it as a loan being worth it - and we could potentially get denied because - well - it isn't worth it to invest in that much with where we are. Interesting....
Again, these were all "approximate" and fairly accurate simulations, but it let us know where we currently stand on getting a home. Worst case scenario, Travis and I will be home owners in July of this year. If we continue doing what we are doing, handle a few minor adjustments on our credit reports, we could be homeowners by March! AHHH!!!
Kari then calculated taxes, down payment, closing costs, appraisal costs, fees, etc. and gave us a total that we need to save for. It's more or less a "goal" amount for the least that we should save for, and we need to save up that amount and keep it untouched for 2 months. Only small additions, like $20 or $50 from a paycheck that is easily traced, can go into the savings.
Kari is going to run a few more simulations with another program with a lender. This is going to tell us where we could be in 3 months up to 6 months. Kari is going to see how long we should wait to get the best deals, without having to wait forever and not move forward on buying a home this year. The lender is also going to talk to her about our credit report and give advice on what she would like to see us do before she'd be willing to approve us for certain amounts. Basically, a lender is telling us what we should do in order to get our credit scores up higher in a short time frame and also what is going to work in our favor this year.
I cannot tell you just how relieved I am! Travis and I left there feeling so proud of our accomplishments and determined to do whatever we need to in order to put ourselves in an even better position.
Not going to lie, this homebuying process still looks like Greek to me. But I am glad that I have Kari to hold my hand and mentor me through the process. Travis is on the same page with Kari - so it makes me feel better knowing that he understands this more than I do.
Here we are... step number 1 towards buying a house is accomplished. Now on to step 2!
A dear cousin, Kari, has been giving Travis and I advice about building our credit and paying off our debts so that we can own a home. The woman is a genius. I am so totally clueless about this homebuying stuff. However, Travis and Kari were on the same page the whole time, and they explained things to me in more simpler terms so that I could understand. There were so many things I learned, I was amazed!
Kari pulled our credit reports and gave us an updated, accurate credit score for each of us. She sat down with both of us and went through every page on our credit report, telling us what lenders look for. She pointed out areas that we could fix, and she pointed out areas where we should leave things alone! I was surprised that there was one thing on our credit report that she told us NOT to touch until after we buy a home. If we messed with it, it could potentially hurt us because of when it will be reported - and she explained why it would negatively impact us. This one thing was a collections account. This debt was actually paid through the hospital between 2008 and 2011. However, it was not updated on our credit report. Even though that debt technically does not exist, the agency did not report it to the credit bureaus. It is not hitting our credit negatively to leave it alone the way it is. At first, I thought "OMG, that needs to be taken off!" But Kari explained to me the moment that there is any activity on the account, it will come across as a negative impact on our credit and bring our credit scores down. She told us to wait until after we buy a home to update it.
Kari also told us where we can dispute things on our credit report. She told us the best places to talk to in order to handle credit disputes. There was ONE medical bill that we paid off that had not been reported to the credit bureau. Unfortunately, because we paid it, it's possible it will bring down our credit score. But oh well, live and learn. It'll be ok. When Kari looked at our previous debts and saw that everything had been paid off completely, she told us we did everything right. That was a relief to hear! I was worried that I was messing up. Kari reassured me that we are not in a terrible position, and because we have a good record of debts being paid in full - even though our credit scores weren't as high as I had wanted them to be - that will look more favorable because it shows we pay off our debts.
She ran our numbers through a program to see how interest rates would fluctuate between FHA and Conventional loans. She showed us every possible outcome. She told us the pros and cons for each type, and how they would affect us. Ironically, where we are, monthly payments won't be much different for either type of loan. When going through the possible outcomes and different costs of a home and calculating a different percentage for a down payment, we were looking at possibly a $7 - $30 monthly difference between the two.
She asked us if we had been searching for a home at all lately. I told her one house in the neighborhood we live in that I have had my eye on. She ran the numbers for both types of loans with the amount the house was selling for and she took taxes into consideration. This is where I was super surprised. A Conventional loan was $7/month more than an FHA, but it was also more than likely a better option for us. Then, we took another home into consideration. An FHA was a better option for us on that one! I was really surprised how minor adjustments made a HUGE difference!
After going through adjustments and comparisons, Kari told us that we were "finance-able" where we currently are. She told us that we could qualify for much more than we originally thought. Granted, we told her that we were looking for a lower cost home and wouldn't mind doing repairs. This one really surprised me: she told us that with where we stand, we should NOT get a house less than $50,000 because insurance and interest would not work in our favor. The lowest we can look for a house is currently $54,000 without getting hit with huge insurance costs and higher interest rates. I never thought there would be a minimum amount for getting a better deal. If you go too low compared to what you qualify for, the bank won't see it as a loan being worth it - and we could potentially get denied because - well - it isn't worth it to invest in that much with where we are. Interesting....
Again, these were all "approximate" and fairly accurate simulations, but it let us know where we currently stand on getting a home. Worst case scenario, Travis and I will be home owners in July of this year. If we continue doing what we are doing, handle a few minor adjustments on our credit reports, we could be homeowners by March! AHHH!!!
Kari then calculated taxes, down payment, closing costs, appraisal costs, fees, etc. and gave us a total that we need to save for. It's more or less a "goal" amount for the least that we should save for, and we need to save up that amount and keep it untouched for 2 months. Only small additions, like $20 or $50 from a paycheck that is easily traced, can go into the savings.
Kari is going to run a few more simulations with another program with a lender. This is going to tell us where we could be in 3 months up to 6 months. Kari is going to see how long we should wait to get the best deals, without having to wait forever and not move forward on buying a home this year. The lender is also going to talk to her about our credit report and give advice on what she would like to see us do before she'd be willing to approve us for certain amounts. Basically, a lender is telling us what we should do in order to get our credit scores up higher in a short time frame and also what is going to work in our favor this year.
I cannot tell you just how relieved I am! Travis and I left there feeling so proud of our accomplishments and determined to do whatever we need to in order to put ourselves in an even better position.
Not going to lie, this homebuying process still looks like Greek to me. But I am glad that I have Kari to hold my hand and mentor me through the process. Travis is on the same page with Kari - so it makes me feel better knowing that he understands this more than I do.
Here we are... step number 1 towards buying a house is accomplished. Now on to step 2!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Facebook Addiction
I am making another promise to myself for 2013. I am absolutely addicted to Facebook. I'm on it every. single. day. It's a horrible habit. I waste hours of my day on Facebook. So I am making a promise to only get on Facebook once a week for the entire year. Yes, it is drastic. But I need to do something a little drastic. I am a Facebook addict.
I've realized that Facebook has some upsides to it. I can reconnect with old friends. I can stay in touch with long distant family members. I can share photos for genealogy or even share photos of my adorable nephews and watch cute videos of them dancing or saying a new word. I stay updated on news going on around my city. It has its perks. But because I am on it ALL the time, I've found it brings a lot more harm than good in my life. Cutting back would bring more of that positivity back because I wouldn't be so exposed to things that bring me negativity.
I see terrible pictures of animal abuse on my newsfeed. I'm flooded with mean political remarks on their status updates. I see religious arguments going on between family and friends. I've always been one who would say that people can post whatever they want on their profile - and they don't have to hear anyone else's opinion. They could delete posts that disagree with their views. I think people can have total control over what is on their profile. If people disagree with that person's stance, they shouldn't take it so personal - and if it offends them, they can just hide the post (with that handy dandy arrow in the top right corner) or stop following the person they find offense to. If it is super offensive, then they can unfriend the person all together. Whatever. People don't always post things on Facebook just to start a fight. If they do, ignore it. I don't understand how hard that is. People are entitled to share their own thoughts and views without being hounded for it - as long as it is on their profile.
However, I do know that if someone posts something on Facebook, they are sharing it. Knowing that, the person should know that other people are going to probably instigate an argument or throw in their two cents - even if it wasn't asked for. But you have the right to delete the posts you don't like or continue with the debate. But every time it goes into a debate, some people just don't have the ability to not take things incredibly personal, even when it was never intended to be personal.
I have become so bitter and anti-social because of Facebook. I've seen some true colors come out in people that I can't even comprehend. What's super annoying is people take Facebook out into the real world. I can't tell you how many times (one particular person comes to mind) where I will share something or say something I agree with, only to be harassed about it outside of Facebook on a daily basis. Worst part is, I can't run away from it.
Another thing I've learned is that I've shared too much to everyone. Why does anyone care about what I wore today? Why does anyone care about seeing Coheed with his Christmas presents? Why do I have to share what days I'm working and what days I have off? Why do I have to get on my phone and share a picture immediately even though I'm having dinner with friends? It is absolutely redundant.
I've tried restricting my profile from selected groups. I've made lists and set up privacy settings for each list. Even though I'm protecting my page the best I can, not everyone knows how to do this. So of course, it is automatically assumed that I'm sharing everything with everyone when I'm not.
I know we haven't been handed the smoothest road to travel, but Travis and I are doing ok. I know this. I'm ok with that. But I could be using my time better elsewhere. I could be doing something more proactive than sitting around in front of a computer screen. But yet, I sit here... and I see everyone else sharing pictures of their babies, making announcements about a new bun in the oven, showing off the new home they've purchased or giving themselves mad props for getting promoted or a new great job. I get jealous. I'll be honest. Instead of working on bettering me, I'm tearing myself down comparing myself to everyone else's joys. I don't know why I do it. I just know that I do it.
Why do I even use Facebook? I like to stay connected with friends and family that I'm not that close to personally. I really do enjoy hearing my friend had the perfect proposal. I love finding out that old friends are having babies. I like knowing that people are actually succeeding in this world. People share some really funny things too. I love to see what everyone has to share. Except for the negativity and prophesying - it gets overwhelming. But I can only control what I respond to. Restricting myself down to one day a week will make me focus more on the positive and fun stuff, because that's what I search for. It's only when I stick around and get bored do I let the negative things get to me. I can't let myself do that and make myself more bitter and upset.
I've had a lot of ups and downs lately. 2012 was a rough year - but it was easier than the previous 2 years. I want 2013 to be better. I want to better myself in anyway I can. I am going to force myself to do more drastic things this year to hopefully bring more positivity in my life. Facebook is the first to be cut down.
So for all of my friends on Facebook, I won't be around as often as I was before. But you can always call me! My number is on there!
I've realized that Facebook has some upsides to it. I can reconnect with old friends. I can stay in touch with long distant family members. I can share photos for genealogy or even share photos of my adorable nephews and watch cute videos of them dancing or saying a new word. I stay updated on news going on around my city. It has its perks. But because I am on it ALL the time, I've found it brings a lot more harm than good in my life. Cutting back would bring more of that positivity back because I wouldn't be so exposed to things that bring me negativity.
I see terrible pictures of animal abuse on my newsfeed. I'm flooded with mean political remarks on their status updates. I see religious arguments going on between family and friends. I've always been one who would say that people can post whatever they want on their profile - and they don't have to hear anyone else's opinion. They could delete posts that disagree with their views. I think people can have total control over what is on their profile. If people disagree with that person's stance, they shouldn't take it so personal - and if it offends them, they can just hide the post (with that handy dandy arrow in the top right corner) or stop following the person they find offense to. If it is super offensive, then they can unfriend the person all together. Whatever. People don't always post things on Facebook just to start a fight. If they do, ignore it. I don't understand how hard that is. People are entitled to share their own thoughts and views without being hounded for it - as long as it is on their profile.
However, I do know that if someone posts something on Facebook, they are sharing it. Knowing that, the person should know that other people are going to probably instigate an argument or throw in their two cents - even if it wasn't asked for. But you have the right to delete the posts you don't like or continue with the debate. But every time it goes into a debate, some people just don't have the ability to not take things incredibly personal, even when it was never intended to be personal.
I have become so bitter and anti-social because of Facebook. I've seen some true colors come out in people that I can't even comprehend. What's super annoying is people take Facebook out into the real world. I can't tell you how many times (one particular person comes to mind) where I will share something or say something I agree with, only to be harassed about it outside of Facebook on a daily basis. Worst part is, I can't run away from it.
Another thing I've learned is that I've shared too much to everyone. Why does anyone care about what I wore today? Why does anyone care about seeing Coheed with his Christmas presents? Why do I have to share what days I'm working and what days I have off? Why do I have to get on my phone and share a picture immediately even though I'm having dinner with friends? It is absolutely redundant.
I've tried restricting my profile from selected groups. I've made lists and set up privacy settings for each list. Even though I'm protecting my page the best I can, not everyone knows how to do this. So of course, it is automatically assumed that I'm sharing everything with everyone when I'm not.
I know we haven't been handed the smoothest road to travel, but Travis and I are doing ok. I know this. I'm ok with that. But I could be using my time better elsewhere. I could be doing something more proactive than sitting around in front of a computer screen. But yet, I sit here... and I see everyone else sharing pictures of their babies, making announcements about a new bun in the oven, showing off the new home they've purchased or giving themselves mad props for getting promoted or a new great job. I get jealous. I'll be honest. Instead of working on bettering me, I'm tearing myself down comparing myself to everyone else's joys. I don't know why I do it. I just know that I do it.
Why do I even use Facebook? I like to stay connected with friends and family that I'm not that close to personally. I really do enjoy hearing my friend had the perfect proposal. I love finding out that old friends are having babies. I like knowing that people are actually succeeding in this world. People share some really funny things too. I love to see what everyone has to share. Except for the negativity and prophesying - it gets overwhelming. But I can only control what I respond to. Restricting myself down to one day a week will make me focus more on the positive and fun stuff, because that's what I search for. It's only when I stick around and get bored do I let the negative things get to me. I can't let myself do that and make myself more bitter and upset.
I've had a lot of ups and downs lately. 2012 was a rough year - but it was easier than the previous 2 years. I want 2013 to be better. I want to better myself in anyway I can. I am going to force myself to do more drastic things this year to hopefully bring more positivity in my life. Facebook is the first to be cut down.
So for all of my friends on Facebook, I won't be around as often as I was before. But you can always call me! My number is on there!
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Discovering Our Roots
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| Ancient Gaelic Proverb GenealogyBeginner.com |
This post is going to be a little different than the previous ones. Something I am very passionate about is genealogy. I love discovering a part of who I am, where my family came from, how their lives crossed paths, and learning that I am not so different than my ancestors. I love hearing stories about them. I love the mystery. And most of all, I love seeing my older relatives light up when talking about their childhood. I could sit there all day and just absorb every word they say.
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| My very own classic family photos to come in this post! |
My mother's side of the family have been known to save pictures, pass on photographs from the past, and even pass along many items from our ancestors down to younger generations. My mom currently has a trunk FULL of cool stuff handed down to her by my grandmother. Plus, many cousins, my aunt, and my mom have been very adamant about getting our genealogy. It's been a real pleasure sharing with my family what we've all discovered. Family reunions are all about sharing photographs of new ancestors we've discovered, sharing stories about our distant relatives we've found, and clarifying questions we all have about certain relatives.
Travis's side of the family has had some difficulty in tracing their family history. Not going to lie, it's kind of like searching for a needle in a haystack. Travis's grandmother was adopted, so it's not easy finding records of her mother and father. Travis's grandfather on his father's side is getting older. There are no other relatives his age still alive. And when I talk to him about the family, he gets confused or lost in conversation sometimes. Genealogy isn't always linear, so it's easy to get lost when talking.
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| My beautiful Greats. |
Something I've always wanted to create are genealogical books about my family. I want my children to know where they come from. I'm proud of our ancestors. And the more I learn about them, the more I wish I had known them because I grow to love them. It's like falling in love with a character in a book, except this time, you know the character was once a living, breathing human being in this world in a another timeframe and that they are a part of you.
I haven't found the right albums yet to use. I'm kind of picky because I want these suckers to last decades. It'd be like scrapbooks that I can pass on to my children, they can pass on to their children, and so on. I also thought about making a website for my family tree to help me keep track of information I find at the genealogical library, in microfilms, or from online forums. That way, I can easily share this information with any of my family members.
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| My great-aunt Wanda with her brothers (my great-uncles). I love this picture so much! |
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| The woman sitting down at the front right is Rebecca. She is the Native American I was searching for. My family found more information about her through long distant cousins, older relatives, a Native American chief and family friends than I ever found on Ancestry.com. |
Ancestry.com isn't all that bad actually. I found a long distant cousin that way. However, don't believe everything you see. Cross your T's and dot your i's. Make sure it's the same person you are looking for. The best way to get the right person is to work your way backwards.
Say you know the name of your grandfather's dad. Start with his name and find out where the man is buried. Grandpa more than likely knows! You will get his birth date and death date from the headstone and if he was in the military forces, what type he was in.
Start with the death date and look for census records that co-orelate with your grandfather and the man you are searching for. This will tell you where the man lived while your grandfather lived with him, who else lived with him and how old he was at the time of the census.
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| Here is the death certificate of my great-great grandmother Burzilla. She is almost impossible to find because of her unique name. Notice, her death certificate doesn't even provide her correct name. Continue reading... |
If you know his wife's name, which is probably on your grandfather's birth certificate, find the marriage certificate.
If there are any markings on the headstone for being in the military forces, find his military records.
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| My great-great-great grandpa "Andy" Foster was involved in the Civil War but in a guerilla gang with the legendary Champ Ferguson. Here is a copy of his military prison record. He was a Confederate soldier. |
Now that you have important documents to verify who it is you are searching for, search for a census record for every year the man was alive. Start with the year he died and work your way backwards until he was born. You will find his parents' names as well as his siblings, their ages, and where they lived.
The farther back you date your family, the harder it will be to find this information. The headstone may not exist anymore. If one does, you might not be able to read it (which is why you bring a paper and pencil to trace over the headstone). If you still cannot read it, or no dates are listed on it, then you can resort to church records to find this information. And don't forget, family friends are a resource! We've met complete strangers that remembered our ancestors and told us stories and shared pictures of our own relatives. It's amazing what family friends can provide about your own family.
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| Here is my great-great grandfather with his son (not my great grandfather). This photo was given to me by this son's family line. |
Another not-so-helpful tip - back in the day, not many people could read and write. So names could possibly be spelled differently or entirely incorrect. For example, my grandmother's name is Oleda. It's spelled Oleta, Olida, and Oleda. The one with the d is actually correct, but I research all spellings. Another example is my great-great grandmother - whose headstone reads "Sylvia." However, her name was Zilpha. My family didn't have the money to change her headstone with the correct name. With a deep southern accent, Zilpha sounded like Sylvia - and her nickname Zilph sounded like Jeff. Totally confusing - but always be open to unique spellings of names and talk to family and friends about these individuals to find the correct names. Remember, family knows best. In the case of remembering those who have passed - your family will know who you should be researching.
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| Here is a great picture that my great-aunt Wanda gave to my mother who then passed on a copy to me. This is one of my favorite pictures of my great-aunt Juanita with her husband, my great-uncle Keith from when they were my age currently. |
If anyone has any questions about researching genealogy, feel free to ask me. I love it - and I'll love to help in any way I can. I don't know everything about genealogical research, but I know who to ask and where to go to help find that information.
For my birthday, people bought me gifts that would contribute to my genealogical albums. I cannot tell you how excited I am. It's going to take some time because I have about 1000 or more photographs to scan to put into these albums. Then I have to organize all of my information into a legible book/scrapbook/documentation about each individual with photographs. It's not going to be easy - but it will be so much fun! I can't wait to get crackin'.
P.S. If someone shares with you a professional picture - you cannot get a copy made at CVS, Wal-Mart or any other photo lab. They require documentation from the photographer saying it is ok for you to make copies of the picture. I know, it's ridiculous when you have a professional picture from 1880, but it's the rules to prevent copyright and to protect photographers. As my mother put it when they denied her access to copy photos, she asked, "What do you want me to do? Go dig him up?" Haha - sorry mom, it's the rules. You'll have to scan those and print them out at home.
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| This photo of one of my greats could not be printed through a photo lab without permission from the original photographer. |
I'll end this post there as I could go on forever talking about my family history. I am so excited to start putting my "Family Volumes" together. It's going to take a while before it will be "perfect" enough to share with all of you. Please be patient with me. EEKK!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Enjoying a Bit of House Hunting
Ok, so we aren't officially looking to buy a home. Well... maybe. That is, if all goes well and according to plan. Currently, we live in a really nice neighborhood with my husband's dad and grandfather. I wouldn't mind staying in this neighborhood. After all, it is a sought after area of town. Houses don't really go up for sale often, which means people move in and stay. When a house does go up for sale, let's just say, they don't last long on the market.
Today, Travis went off to work. I was bored, so I took a drive around in this part of town. I saw quite a few "For Sale" signs. I grabbed a piece of paper, a pen, and I started jotting down the addresses and who was the realtor. I came home and jumped onto my laptop. I looked up each house. Only 1 out of the 5 houses was not in our original budget.
A while back, Travis and I thought that we were going to buy a house in Bloomington. Good thing we didn't. We were racking up some serious medical debt, and our credit was far under par. However, a good friend of mine is a broker in Bloomington. She found out that we qualified for $70,000. Yeah, that's not much - but we are first-time home buyers AND our credit was out of wack at the time. Since then, we've used $70,000 as our budget for when we do decide to buy a home - regardless if we qualify for more. It's good to have a number in mind, even if it isn't the actual number now. Besides, we don't have to take out a loan for more than what we really should. We're being frugal here.
So, $70,000 was my budget. Only 1 was over that (and that was $99,900 - and trust me, the outside of the house didn't look like it was worth $99,900). The other 4 houses were jaw droppers. I was surprised how much they were after looking at them in person. Granted, I'm sure they are going to be fix uppers. But with a family of construction workers and DIY'ers, I'm not too worried about some fixing up. I'd rather fix it up just the way I want it anyways. All four houses were LESS that $70,000. And here's why:
Most houses in this neighborhood were built in the 50's and 60's. The families that built these homes stayed in them until they passed or moved into an elderly home. Families don't leave this area. But when a person passes away or moves into an elderly home - the children are desperate to get rid of the house. Yes, the homes have some wear and tear on them - but they are very nice family homes. They are great starter homes. And after having friends move into this area previously, we can see that most homes are not money pits. This area of town has a great reputation. The prices on these homes drop quickly because the family members cannot afford to keep a second home that their parents' owned.
Here I am getting all excited. Travis asked me the other day how I felt about buying a home instead of renting. That's a huge step to take - and honestly, I'm scared because I don't know a thing about home buying. But believe me, I would love to have a home to call our own - to have a place where we can settle ourselves down and live for years. In this upcoming year, we made a promise to get established before the year ends. We made a promise that living with family members is temporary. In 2012, Travis and I will be getting careers. Travis already has a pretty decent job. I'm getting interviews. Maybe buying a home is a step in the right direction. I'm not talking about buying a home tomorrow or next week or next month. But after I get a career and we establish ourselves with a decent income, maybe it wouldn't hurt to keep our eyes open for a home. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go to a broker and look around. We can take our time. We don't need to jump the gun. But maybe now is the time to take that first step towards home buying.
Today, Travis went off to work. I was bored, so I took a drive around in this part of town. I saw quite a few "For Sale" signs. I grabbed a piece of paper, a pen, and I started jotting down the addresses and who was the realtor. I came home and jumped onto my laptop. I looked up each house. Only 1 out of the 5 houses was not in our original budget.
A while back, Travis and I thought that we were going to buy a house in Bloomington. Good thing we didn't. We were racking up some serious medical debt, and our credit was far under par. However, a good friend of mine is a broker in Bloomington. She found out that we qualified for $70,000. Yeah, that's not much - but we are first-time home buyers AND our credit was out of wack at the time. Since then, we've used $70,000 as our budget for when we do decide to buy a home - regardless if we qualify for more. It's good to have a number in mind, even if it isn't the actual number now. Besides, we don't have to take out a loan for more than what we really should. We're being frugal here.
So, $70,000 was my budget. Only 1 was over that (and that was $99,900 - and trust me, the outside of the house didn't look like it was worth $99,900). The other 4 houses were jaw droppers. I was surprised how much they were after looking at them in person. Granted, I'm sure they are going to be fix uppers. But with a family of construction workers and DIY'ers, I'm not too worried about some fixing up. I'd rather fix it up just the way I want it anyways. All four houses were LESS that $70,000. And here's why:
Most houses in this neighborhood were built in the 50's and 60's. The families that built these homes stayed in them until they passed or moved into an elderly home. Families don't leave this area. But when a person passes away or moves into an elderly home - the children are desperate to get rid of the house. Yes, the homes have some wear and tear on them - but they are very nice family homes. They are great starter homes. And after having friends move into this area previously, we can see that most homes are not money pits. This area of town has a great reputation. The prices on these homes drop quickly because the family members cannot afford to keep a second home that their parents' owned.
Here I am getting all excited. Travis asked me the other day how I felt about buying a home instead of renting. That's a huge step to take - and honestly, I'm scared because I don't know a thing about home buying. But believe me, I would love to have a home to call our own - to have a place where we can settle ourselves down and live for years. In this upcoming year, we made a promise to get established before the year ends. We made a promise that living with family members is temporary. In 2012, Travis and I will be getting careers. Travis already has a pretty decent job. I'm getting interviews. Maybe buying a home is a step in the right direction. I'm not talking about buying a home tomorrow or next week or next month. But after I get a career and we establish ourselves with a decent income, maybe it wouldn't hurt to keep our eyes open for a home. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go to a broker and look around. We can take our time. We don't need to jump the gun. But maybe now is the time to take that first step towards home buying.
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